


Ikanaide

by salchli10



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Depression, Fluff and Angst, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Gender-Neutral Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Gender-neutral Reader, Mentions of Violence, Post-Kerberos Mission, Pre-Kerberos Mission, Reunion, Songfic, Soulmate AU, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Tags are WIP, i have no idea where this story is going, loss of partner, shared pain
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-18
Updated: 2018-07-17
Packaged: 2019-02-16 19:05:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,542
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13060257
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/salchli10/pseuds/salchli10
Summary: A (kinda) songfic (at least in the beginning) based off of the song 'Ikanaide'. “Don’t Go Away Yet.” ((It’s also a gender neutral reader, for all of you people out there who don’t identify with her/she pronouns!))"I'll miss you," (Y/n) chokes out, their hands shaking while griping onto their lover's shirt."I'll miss you too," Shiro whispers solemly, pulling them into a tight embrace and burying his face into the crook of their neck. "But I promise, I'll come back to you. I promise."Shiro pulled away, looking (Y/n) in the eyes one last time before having to turn away, helmet in hand, walking towards the docking pad./Couldn't do a thing but stare without a sound./He promised. He promised he'd come back. He promised he'd be careful. He promised they would be together./Eyes getting wet, don't be upset, but my heart really wants to cry/So why did the ship crash? Why did he break his promise? Even if the Garrison lied about why they lost contact with the ship, why wasn’t he back in their arms?/Don't Go Away Yet./





	1. Chapter 1 - Gaga Ball

((Author note-

  Uh oh, guess who decided to start writing again? And even worse, guess who became absolute Voltron trash and decided to ignore all other books ive should of updated months ago to start a new one? Lmao yeah, it's me.

  Okay, so I have no idea where I'm going with this book, but I may end up abandoning this and starting a new one where the reader is an alien instead of a human. If you like that idea more, just say so and I can start a new book. ALSO, if you have story ideas, DONT BE AFRAID TO DM ME!! I'm always welcome to potential story ideas!

  Well, enough rambling, let's get onto some angst!))

  
  It had been bliss since the beginning. (Y/n) and Shiro had been close since they first laid eyes on each other in freshman year at the Galaxy Garrison, a piloting school that doubles as a military base in the middle of nowhere. An oasis in the desert. An oasis where hundreds and hundreds of students did their best to learn the ins and outs of future technology and space travel, and an oasis where nearly everyone was constantly stressed and worried about things ranging from homework to finals that could make or break their career.

  It was definitely a high stress environment, so the students and staff had cake up with some... interesting ways to features after a long day's work.

  One of those ways was playing Gaga ball.

   What's Gaga ball, you may ask? Well, Gaga ball was a game originally intended to be a 'safer' version of dodgeball. It also took up less space. In the original instructions, it's supposed to be a game played with multiple players in a small ring of sorts where the aim of the game is to try and hit the opposing player below the knees with a soft foam ball. Last person left in the ring wins.

  But that version is for 'losers'. At the Garrison, when playing Gaga ball, it's not uncommon to have bets placed on which player will win, the ball is a classic rubber dodgeball, and it's definitely not uncommon for loosing players -and sometimes the winning player- to leave the ring with major bruises or occasionally major injuries.

  (Y/n) had never really been the type of person to go to Gaga ball games, much to their friends' dismay. More often than not, they had opted out of leaving their room, and preferring to either work on their vast amounts of homework (they honestly had no idea how most of the students passed their classes because of how much time most of the teenagers spent not working on homework and socializing) or to simply talk with their friends, but still not leaving the confines of the safety of their own room.

  "I absolutely refuse to let you just stay here tonight!"

   "Adia, please," (Y/n) groans.

   Their friend currently had an iron grip on their arm, attempting to drag the poor teen down the hallway, but struggling due to the fact that (Y/n) was still wearing their backpack, resulting in them basically being dead weight.

    "Please! Please come out tonight, just this once! It's not healthy for you to stay cooped up in your room, (Y/n)!"

  "No-" They tried to retort, but was cut off by Adia slapping her hand over their mouth.

   "No 'but's! You're going out tonight and that's final! I'll buy you desert for the rest of the week if you just go with me to the dumb game!"

  This was very tempting. Oh so very tempting. Due to the fact that most of the students on campus didn't have a job because  the city was so far away, being able to buy extras for meals was a rarity.

  "...fine." (Y/n) huffs, crossing their arms. "Let me at least change-"

  "YES!!" Adia did some form of.. a victory dance? (Y/n) wasn't sure, it was an odd combination of motions, but their friend was excited enough, so a victory dance seemed to be a correct description of said combination of movements and gestures.

  (Y/n) let out a quiet chuckle. Oh, what the heck, sure. They'd enjoy themselves tonight, just this once. No pain in that, right?

   Oh only if they knew that there would be more than enough pain in that.

———

  Choosing clothing for that night wasn't too much of an issue. (Y/n) usually kept their clothing choices simple. A white graphic t-shirt, plain black shorts, and an old pair of grungy (and what they think was) white tennis shoes was all they needed for that night. Nothing fancy.

  Adia was wearing basically the same, but her clothing was a bit nicer. She usually cared about appearances more than (Y/n) did, but that's besides the point. She dragged them through the hallway (again) towards the gymnasium, explaining the rules of Gaga ball to them, talking a thousand words a second. They tuned her out, their mind wandering to their schedule for next week and the test in Sargent Calcia's class that they knew they'd definitely need to study for.

———

  Upon arrival at the gym, (Y/n) was immediately overwhelmed with the sheer amount of people crammed into the space, all cheering loudly and screaming towards the center of the crowd, and the unmistakable sound of rubber skidding off the polished wood floor. That sound brought nasty flashbacks of middle school to (Y/n)'s head, causing them to shudder. Dodgeball was a scary game.

  Gaga ball was scarier. You couldn't escape as easily from the ball and just because the goal was to hit below the knees, it didn't mean that you didn't get slammed in the face.

  Adia ushered (Y/n) to the wall where a paper had been hung up. It had the lineup of players for the night, and Adia read it like it was instructions on where to find the winning lottery ticket. Then she nearly screamed- much like she had in fact won the lottery- and nearly jumped three feet in the air.

"Ohmigosh, I completely forgot! Shiro is playing tonight!" She squealed, grabbing (Y/n)'s shoulders and shaking them wildly. "Davin Newport challenged him last month and got his lackies to join him to try and take his place as the top player!!"

  She room this all way too seriously. That was (Y/n)'s one and only thought on the matter.

  "I have no idea what you're talking about," they reply, confused and essentially emotionlessly.

  "I told you about this! Takashi Shirogane is the best Gaga ball player at the Garrison- along with being the best pilot and basically being the poster boy- and is called the 'Champion' because he's never been defeated! Not once!"

  "Huh." (Y/n) had heard of Shirogane before. Who hadn't? He was basically the perfect student- perfect report card, perfect simulator scores, perfect attendance, drop dead gorgeous, and overall perfect. He was apparently also had a perfect track record with Gaga ball. Figured, they thought, glancing to the screaming crowd of Gaga ball fans.

   Shirogane wasn't in the ring- no, this was just a warm up game for some of the other players. The crowd wasn't loud enough for the champion to actually be there yet. (Y/n) could pinpoint the exact moment when he did enter he ring, however, due to the fact that the crowd suddenly seemed to loose their mind and started to scream bloody murder.

  "Come on, let's get up closer so we can actually see!" Adia grabbed their hand once again- this was definitely a reoccurring theme that (Y/n) had become accustomed to at this point- and she dragged them through the crowd, trying to look over the people's heads to try and get a good look at the match. Judging by the crowd's reactions and ear piercing screams, it was a very eventful game. As they got closer and closer to the ring, the sound of the ball hitting the sides of the wooden planks that served as the edges of the ring got louder, as well as the sounds of the players grunting or groaning as they either dodged the ball or got nailed by it. A whistle went off and the crowd screamed even louder this time- someone was out of the game.

   (Y/n) finally managed to squeeze through a few more bodies, and was now able to actually look into the ring. The air was hot and sticky, no thanks to the massive amounts of people around a circle filled with sweaty men- (It was mostly men who played Gaga ball. There were some very fierce female players, but they weren't very common)  and people's elbows kept jabbing into their side- How was this a fun activity again?

   (Y/n) could barely breathe or see straight as they finally got the chance to look at the players, up close now. There were only three players in the ring now- Shirogane, Davin, and another male. The unknown male was very cocky; he was spouting nonsense, obviously trying to rule up Shirogane, and would occasionally pretend that he was about to go after the opposing male, but fake out. (Y/n) honestly had no idea how he made it this far into the game because he was also very bad at the 'sport'. He currently had the ball, and was continuing to taunt Shirogane, who was obviously not buying any of it. He continued to do this for way too long of a time, circling around him. It got to the point that even the audience was getting restless and bored.

  "Just throw the god damned ball!" Davin growled, which apparently spooked the guy, causing him to screech and hurl the ball haphazardly.

The dingy dodge ball didn't even go in the general direction of the target male- instead, it spiraled directly at (Y/n)'s face, who didn't react in time, and ended getting a full face of smelly, hard, red rubber, and

  
  And blackness.


	2. Author’s Note

Hello, my amazing readers! I’ve been thinking about it, and I’ve been wondering- should I make this an omegaverse fanfic? I think it would make it more interesting and open up more possibilities, storyline wise. So, should I change it or keep it non-omegaverse? Comment below and tell me your thoughts on it! Also, I’m always open for thoughts and ideas for the future of the fanfic, so shoot me a dm or comment ideas! Please don’t be afraid to do so!


	3. Chapter 2: Soul Mates

It was normal when someone got hit in the crowd during a game of Gaga ball. It was not normal when the Champion fell over flat at the same time. Both of the students hit the ground in sync and the room went dead quiet before exploding into a dull roar of countless whispers and people trying to get a better look, wondering why both of them were knocked out.

One person, in particular, started to shove through the crowd, desperately trying to reach the ‘arena’.

”Shiro!” He finally breached the mass of people and vaulted himself over the wooden planks, rushing to the fallen man’s side. The raven haired boy quickly checked him over for injuries, but found none.

“What the hell happened?” He asked the other players, looking from Shiro, to them, to the mystery person, and back to Shiro.

”I have no idea,” one of the players replied. “When that person got hit, he just fell like a rock! I swear I did nothing!”

Keith really didn’t believe them, but he was relived when he saw some of the medical personnel making their way to the area with two stretchers. One of the ladies tried to shoo Keith away, but he insisted that he would stay by his brother’s side. The woman once again tried to make him leave, but quickly found that that wasn’t going to happen. She reluctantly let him follow.

“Just stay out of the way,” she grumbled, hoisting up the stretcher in time with her colleague. He followed after them, but looked back at the other person, who was receiving the same treatment. What the hell happened?

——

(Y/n) groaned quietly as they began to regain consciousness, wincing at the burning pain that spread across their face. They hesitantly gripped the sheets, clenching their eyes shut from the pain.

“Ah, they’re awake,” an unfamiliar voice said from somewhere in the room.

(Y/n) couldn’t will themselves to open their eyes just yet. Everything was too puffy and swollen, and they knew it wasn’t pretty.

This is why they didn’t go to Gagaball games- no, this is why they preferred not to leave their room at any time except to go to classes.

The (assumably) nurse began to speak, but their head was spinning and all of her words were received as a garbled mess. They let out another groan and tried to sit up, but the nurse gently pressed their body back down. Another groan of pain could be heard in the room. Odd.

“Ah ah ah, not too fast, honey,” she frets, letting out a huff. “You probably won’t want to move, especially not after being hit by a rubber ball at those speeds.”

(Y/n) slowly nodded, relaxing into the soft but weakly packed pillow, allowing themselves to succum to the throbbing pain behind their eyes, in front of their eyes, and all across their nose and cheeks. Worst. Day. Ever.

It took a solid half hour for (Y/n) to pry their eyes open, slowly getting used to the bright light. Even so, they couldn’t fully open their eyes; most likely a black eye. The first thing they saw was the plain ceiling and a clock on the wall high above them. Then, they craned their head to the side.

To their surprise, none other than Takashi Shirogane was sitting next to them. Their eyes went a little wider and their breath caught in their throat. This got the male’s attention and he looked up from holding his face in his hands. His face looked normal, but he seemed to be bearing a great deal of pain.

“I’m so sorry that happened to you,” He croaked out, his eyes locking with (Y/n)’s. He didn’t seem to have gotten much sleep as of late, due to the fact that there were dark bags under his eyes and his overall posture was sluggish.

“I-It’s not your.. fault,” they reply, trying to wrap their head around the fact that /Shiro/ Of all people was sitting next to them. What the heck happened the night before? 

“I know, but I’m just worried, and I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

All Brain function seemed to stop for a moment. 

“....”

”Give then some time, honey,” the nurse sighs, walking over I the IV drip inserted into (Y/n)’s arm and switching out the bag. “There are some pain meds in here, and I’ll grab some ice to help with the swelling.”

(Y/n) quietly mumbled their thanks and watched the nurse walk out of the small room. Their eyes flicked over to Shiro for a long moment of awkward silence.

A few minutes later, the nurse returned with an ice pack. (Y/n) took it happily, and gently pressed it to their face. To her amazement, both they and Shiro hissed in pain at the same time from the icy pain. It filled the burn though, which was very nice. 

(Y/n) looked to Shiro, confused, and looked back at the nurse, who was smiling, oddly enough. They squinted their eyes at her, and she turned to Shiro. 

“I’d like to run a few more tests and ask some questions to confirm my suspicions.”

”What suspicions?” (Y/n) croaked out, nearly demanding answers. 

“You’re aware of the physical bond that soulmates share, correct?”

“Yes... wait-“ their eyes went wide and they looked to Shiro, a deep blush invading their cheeks. 

“I believe that you two are soulmates. It would explain why Shirogane collapsed when you did during the Gagaball game,” the nurse explains, smiling. 

Shiro nodded sheepishly and (Y/n) continued to stare in shock. No way. No way in hell. 

——

 The first few days of the two knowing each other was extremely awkward. After being deemed ‘soulmates’, the two could definitely feel the bond between them, but it was just so abrupt that it took some getting used to. It also didn’t help that (Y/n)’s face was still somewhat black and blue. 

But they took it slow. It started off as catching each other’s eye in the hallway, then to small talk, to sitting next to each other at lunch, studying for (Y/n)’s exams, holding hands, gentle kisses, more aggressive kisses, disgustingly sweet messages via text, and the list goes on. They were the perfect couple. Always together, and forever would be, right? 

——

“...Of course you were chosen for the Jerberos mission,” (Y/n) mumbles, their eyes refusing to leave the ground. “You’re the Garrison’s star pupil, the best pilot in its history.”

”(Y/n)-“ Shiro interjected, a frown replacing his hopeful grin. He had hoped that they would of taken this better than they had. They should be happy for him. 

“No, I’m not saying you shouldn’t go, I’m just..” They hesitated for a moment, dragging their eyes up Shiro’s body and willing themselves to look him in the eyes. “I’m going to miss you... six months is a long time, Shiro.” 

The man let oht a quiet sigh and he smiled softly. “Yes, but I promise that I’ll come back to you. You know that this is what I’ve been waiting for for my entire career at the Garrison. It’s an Once in a life time opportunity, and you know that I’m going to take it.”

”I know,” (Y/n) replies, forcing their eyes to make contact with his. “How long do you have until the mission?”

”Four months. The shuttle has already been made, now it’s just a matter of finalizing paperwork and doing specialized training... I’m afraid I won’t get to see you much between now and then, I’m sorry.”

(Y/n)’s frown deepened, but they reached out and grabbed Shiro by the shirt and pulled him close, engulfing him in a hug. He wrapped his arms around them, one cupping the back of their neck, and the other resting on the small of their back. He gently nuzzled his nose into the crook of (Y/n)’s neck, breathing in and exhaling in time with their breaths. 

“We will be okay... I’m trusting that you’ll keep up your grades and get decent sleep, okay?” 

They slowly nod, burying their face into his shirt, taking in a deep breath of his cologne and melting into his touch. 

“I love you.”

”I love you too.”

——

And Shiro was right. The next few months contained little to no actual contact with Shiro, and it was nearly painful. There were rare occasions when they passed by each other in the hallways, or (Y/n) would wake up in the middle of the night and actually find him in bed next to them, causing them to cuddle up to him and quickly fall back to sleep. They made sure to spend each and every moment together that they could until it was Shiro’s time to leave. 

But their time together had vanished sooner and lasted longer than they had hoped...

And oh, it hurt so much more than they ever could of dreamed. 


	4. Ikanaide

(Y/N) knew that Shiro would be leaving. They knew for three months, but it still hurt so much as they saw their love walking down the catwalk towards the absolutely massive rocket, prepared to take Takashi and the Holt men into space.   
  
Thought to myself, it’s okay, I don’t feel a thing.    
  
(Y/n) took in a shaky breath as they watched the countdown sequence on the monitor, slowly ticking down.   
  
10:10, 10:09, 10: 08, 10:07...    
  
But, in the end, there’s a drag weighing down on me.   
  
All around them, all of the students were chatting, all of it being about their lover that no one knew was theirs. It was like the lunchroom level chatting, but exponentially worse. Every student at the school, plus teachers, plus film crews, plus how many hundreds or thousands of civilians were in the crowd, waiting to see the rocket launch.    
  
Running on ahead, again, you seem to escape, every step never touching down.   
  
The countdown was going by too quickly. They could fairly hear sounds over the intercoms, conversations between the pilots and ground control.   
  
4:48, 4:47, 4:46, 4:45, 4:44, 4:43...   
  
Couldn’t do a thing but stare without a sound...   
  
(Y/n) almost began to panic. They forced themselves closer to the front of the crowd to get a better look, despite the fact that they were still so far away from the rocket itself.    
  
Guided away, you walk to a train, while I’m standing left behind.   
  
Dashing off instead, I reach out ahead, but can’t make it through the room in time...   
  
1:11, 1:10, 1:09, 1:08, 1:07, 1:06...   
  
(Y/n) managed to get to the front, squeezing through some reporters, hoping to get one last solid glance, a last spark in their connection with Takashi’s soul before he was too far away. It was still strong- he was still here, even though his time was dwindling faster than your happiness. They choked back a sob, your heart tightening in your chest as you could  heard the screams of “TEN! NINE! EIGHT! STEVEN! SIX!” All around you. It was deafening.

 

Eye’s getting wet, don’t be upset, but my heart really wants to cry…

 

Don’t go away yet.

 

The rocket boosters roared to life, and billows of smoke spewed out of them. A shockwave of heat hit the onlookers, but they were too far away for it to be dangerous. 

 

“FIVE! FOUR! THREE! TWO! ONE!!!” The final number was almost cut off by the crowd screaming ‘liftoff’ all at once. They were celebrating the loss of your soulmate, and they had no idea. (Y/n)’a tears finally broke loose as the rocket began to rise from the ground. 

 

You’re moving on to far and beyond while I’m standing left behind. 

 

Time seemed to slow as they watched the rocket soar high into the sky, getting smaller and smaller, and the bond between (Y/n) was getting ever so weaker, but still very much present. Bonds were supposedly be able to be felt, even if the two soulmates were on opposite sides of the world… but their mate was going into space, going farther than any human has ever gone. And that thought scared her to death.

 

And with a blink of an eye, (Y/n) was back in their dorm, alone, sitting on their bed and staring at nothingness. They had no thoughts, could feel nothing, just… numbness. Static.

 

Night running low and leaves me alone, dissolving you from my mind.

 

He wasn’t here. (Y/n)’s mental clock was waiting for Takashi to walk through the door, but you knew he wouldn’t. He wouldn’t return for another 6 months. That thought alone caused the tears to return along with the prickling feeling in your nose.

 

Eyes getting wet, don’t be upset, but my heart really wants to cry.

 

Gentle sobs ranked through their body as the loss of their soulmate finally hit them. (Y/n) was alone. 

 

Ikanaide 

 

——

 

Even the next morning, people were still celebrating a victorious liftoff. It was a punch in the gut for (Y/n). They were basically saying ‘congrats, the man you’re destined to be with didn’t die in front of us’. 

 

Festival abating while I’m waiting for reality. 

 

It didn’t get much easier from there. It honest to god got worse. People kept questioning why (Y/n) didn’t talk anymore. Why they never left their room, why they sat alone at lunch. AS a response, they merely said “It’s getting close to finals. Don’t have time to socialize.”

 

Everyone knew they were close friends with Takashi… but they didn’t know how close they truly were. It hurt. It hurt. *so* much, but there was no one they could speak to about it. 

 

Guess in the end, every night is the same old thing.

 

Every day felt like (Y/n) was just going through the motions. Wake up, get dressed, drag themselves to class, go back to their dorm, do homework, sleep, repeat. Those next few months were relentless, never giving them a break. Once the summer began, it didn’t get better. Without the distractions of classes, (Y/n) was left alone and didn’t have to really leave their room. 

 

Breaking through it all, you were bright, standing tall. How could I only see this now?

 

Without him, their life was dull. The shining beacon, his smiles, his gentle voice and touch, everything was gone. Without his light, the shadows had taken over (Y/n)’s life.

 

Couldn’t do a thing but stare without a sound. 

 

After the third month of being without Takashi, (Y/n) knew that the team would be nearing Kerberos soon. After talking with the higher ups who knew of their situation, they were able to confirm that. He was okay, everyone was okay, and the ship was on track. With this news, they felt content. Nothing bad had happened.

 

Not yet, at least.

 

Clock moving on, it drags me along, with feet buried in the ground.

 

As it got closer and closer to the landing on Kerberos, (Y/n) and Katie had begun to talk once again, as school was starting back up again, and you both had many things in common- loved ones on the mission. Katie was an incoming freshman, soon to join the engineering program at the Garrison. The two began to meet up more and more, talking about the three of the men on the mission, memories they had with them. (Katie wasn’t an idiot, she knew pretty quickly that Takashi was more than ‘just friends’ with (Y/n)) 

 

Road going home, is dark and alone, but I’ll make it home alive, somehow...

 

Things were getting better. Things were *finally* getting better. (Y/n) could function, was able to warm up to their friends once again, much to their happiness. They still had no clue as to why (Y/n) had been so distant, but they knew not to ask questions. Even the doctors who had been checking up with them(physically and mentally, as it was well known that separated soulmates could literally go insane or go into deep states of depression) were impressed with their improvement. They were getting better. 

 

And soon enough, the day of the landing came, and it was during class when they landed. (Y/n) could tell because she could feel her body lurch, seemingly from seatbelts from the placement of the pain they could feel. People had gotten used to the sudden outbursts, the sudden odd movements. ‘My soulmate,’ was the only explanation given, and that was taken without question. Some of the snobs in the class had tried to pry or make fun of them, but they never got a peep out of them. Not like they’d believe (Y/n)’s answer in the first place. 

 

After classes, (Y/n) headed to their dorm and changed into more comfortable clothing, discarding their orange and gold uniform to the side. The stress was finally at the halfway point, and Shiro would only be getting closer after this. That thought alone brought a smile to their face and a feeling of warmth enveloped them. 

 

Flicks in the night, a lamp giving light, my long shadow left behind… 

 

Feeling slightly hungry, (Y/n) went to their stash of snacks and other things, digging through the items until they found the thing they finally had the appetite for- Nutella. Grasping the jar, they began to unscrew the top when suddenly, a burst of pain and pure fear shot through their body- something was wrong. They stood there, frozen as they waited for the feeling to stop. But then it felt like their body was being slammed into a wall and then everything went black. 

 

I’m on my own, aren’t I?

 

——

 

When they came to, (Y/n) was in a hospital bed, and searing pain throbbed through their head, making them feel like someone had bashed their head in with a hammer. A lot. The lights swirled in their vision and they could hear muffled voices speaking rapidly at eachother, but it all sounded like the words there traveling through molasses. Tears blurred everything and they didn’t even register that they were screaming until their throat hurt too much and it was too hard to breathe. Everything was wrong, this wasn’t.. this wasn’t from them, they didn’t think. They couldn’t recall being in a crash or anything,so why… why? Why? Why did death seem like a mercy right now? Why were people around them whispering? Or were they screaming? (Y/n) couldn’t tell, maybe they were screaming, maybe they were hallucinating. Maybe this was just a nightmare. A horrible, horrible nightmare. They just hoped that they’d wake up soon.

 

——

 

Once they woke up (now in considerably less pain, but still in pain), they found themself in the hospital ward once again, but considerably farther into it… they recognized it as the intensive care unit.. had they really been that hurt? When (Y/n) looked down at their body, they could see no wounds, even once checking under the hospital gown. What.. what had happened? Many theories went through their head, but everything came to a screetching halt at the realization.. no.. no.. Takashi? Had something happened? They knew he was still alive, as they could still feel that all too familiar tug, but he was so faint.. so far away, but the pain was ever so present. 

 

They found their tablet on the bedside table and picked it up, but the object weighed much more than they remembered.. well, their entire body felt weak and sore from whatever had happened, so it made sense. They turned it on and unlocked it, surprised to see the news section of the browser filled with pictures of the Kerberos mission.. once squinting at it, they were able to make out the words… oh god. God no, please, please let this be a dream. ANother horrible dream, because this.. this was too much. 

 

‘Kerberos Mission Lost Due to Pilot Error.’

 

Takashi was the best pilot at the garrison, there was no way he could of crashed.. he was alive.. this was a lie, it was a lie! Lies, lies, LIES! Tears welled up once again and the monitor at their side began to beep faster as they slid back down in the bed, holding the tablet tighter in their shaky hands. He was gone. Everything was wrong. 

 

You’re moving on, to far and beyond, and I’m standing, left behind.

 

Once someone had come in to check in on them, (Y/n) yelled at them, pleading for answers, but the doctor just looked at them with.. pity. So much pitty. What in the hell had happened? 

 

(Y/n) asked once again for answers, but all the doctor replied with was, “We don’t know.” The way he said it.. the way he looked at them.. they really didn’t know any much more than (y/n) did. 

 

Night blurring out, without any doubt, again it’ll fill my mind. 

 

Once deemed stable, they were discharged from the hospital ward, but was told that they had lost all contact with the Kerberos mission and that they had no clue what to expect… (y/n) was so.. broken that they could barely hear anything the doctors and higher ups were telling them, but they were given a medical bracelet that kept track of their vitals and sent back to their room with the instructions to rest. It’s all they really could do. 

 

Eyes getting wet, don’t be upset, but my heart really wants to cry.

 

As they drifted down the hallway, left only with their thoughts, tears began to well up once again. Why was everything going wrong? What had they done to deserve such? Did whatever out there just hate them so much that they’d take their wonderful Takashi just to break them? 

 

Don’t go away yet.

 

Before the grief could fully consume them, they came to a halt in front of Takashi’s room, hand pressed against the scanner before they could register that it had happened, and they rushed inside, the door closing behind them. The lingering smell of Shiro’s cologne hit them like a brick wall, and memories flooded them like a tidal wave, along with the tears, and they broke down sobbing, their face red and swollen, and their breath catching in their throat painfully as they spiraled into the cycle of horrid grief.

 

Eye’s getting wet, don't be upset, but my heart really wants to cry.

 

Don’t go away yet.

 

Please... don’t go away yet...


End file.
